Where Are They Now? — Kevin Feltz

I'll start with the present. I live in West Chester, outside of Cincinnati, Ohio. I am happily married (7 years), have a 2-1/2 year old daughter and another on the way, due 21 June, so I will be unable to attend the reunion. I work as an actuary; I started 3-1/2 years ago with a company called Ohio Casualty. It was bought last year by Liberty Mutual, which is my current employer.

A brief synopsis of my twenty years post-PHS:

Bonzo Goes to College: Despite my lack of discipline and motivation, I am able to accumulate a bunch of college credits at Utah State. I start volunteering at a local helpline. I stop cutting my hair. I start playing the guitar. (I give myself the option of playing the guitar or doing schoolwork; I get pretty good at the guitar.)

South of the Border: Graduation creeps ever closer and I still don't know what I want to do with a math degree, so I run away to Mexico to do volunteer work with the Salesian priests there. I learn to speak Spanish.

Bonzo Goes to College, part II: I eventually finish my degree (B.S. Mathematics with minors in Computer Science and Philosophy). I take some master's-level math classes and some education classes until I decide I don't want to do either anymore. I play rugby (in the forward pack, if you can believe it) on the USU club team for two years.

Coming Home (Dark Days): I have no idea what I should do with myself until our church in Provo (St. Francis of Assisi) needs someone bilingual as a church secretary. My lack of organizational abilities makes my performance comically tragic. I am saved from languishing there by my anti-authoritarian streak colliding with my pastor's authoritarian style. I become a teacher's aide at the Salt Lake Valley (Juvenile) Detention Center, until I decide I should really give teaching a try.

Vision Quest: I find a high school that is willing to let me teach without a teaching certificate (St. Michael High School on the Navajo Nation). I am an average math teacher. I start to think that I might like teaching more if my students are older than high-schoolers and the subject is less like math and more like theology. A fellow teacher there (female; English teacher; Notre Dame graduate; from Philadelphia) falls in love with me. I fall in love with her. I ask her to marry me; part of the deal is that she will support me while I go back to school. She acquiesces.

Go East, Young Man: I find a theology program that is close enough to Philly (her people) and St. Louis (the hailing ground of my people) and that will offer me a graduate assistantship: the University of Dayton (Dayton, Ohio). I finally learn some study habits. I write a master's thesis on religious knowledge. I get a master's degree in theology. I spend two more years in the Ph.D. program. I start losing my hair. I cut my hair short. I realize (finally, but better late than never) that the life of an academic doesn't suit me as well as it should and won't help us with starting a family.

Heaven Can Wait: I find a job as an actuary. I find out I'm really good at being an actuary. I find out I like being an actuary more than I've liked anything I've ever done. My wife stops teaching, gives birth to our daughter, and starts a career as a stay-at-home mom.

(Actuarial joke: A biologist, a minister, a divorce lawyer, an accountant, and an actuary are discussing whether it's better to just have a lover or to get married and have a spouse. The biologist opines that having a lover seems to be more in line with what's natural. The minister opines that taking a spouse is more in line with God's plan. The lawyer shares that too many marriages end in messy divorces, so it's better to just have a lover. The accountant cites tax advantages as a reason to have a spouse. The actuary says that it would be best to have both. When pressed to explain, the actuary says, "That way, you can tell your spouse you're with your lover, you can tell your lover you're with your spouse, and then you're free to go to the office to do more analysis.")

Currently, I mostly enjoy being at home with my family, and my 'free' time is mostly spent studying for actuarial exams (6 down; 3 to go) or avoiding studying by finding other activities to engage in and then feeling guilty about not studying (so, I've retained that from high school, I guess). A few details about the rest of the cast: Dianne (my wife; smarter than me in just about everything but "mathy stuff" as she refers to it; still able to feign a chuckle at my lame attempts at humor; miraculously able to put up with me); Annabeth (2-1/2 years old; still in constant-party mode; can already give me a run for my money in a game of Memory; since Christmas, still asks for me to sing "Feliz Navidad" every time I get out my guitar [I like to take it as a compliment to how well I perform the song]); and the soon-to-be-born-but-not-yet-publicly-named daughter who, if her behavior in utero is any indication, will be a prize fighter.

Apparently, some memories from Provo High involving pointy metal things have survived. I can still recall Gordon Chamberlin juggling knives in Ms. Smith's College-Prep English class, and a couple of Elliot Spencer's utensil sculptures still have a place in my visual memory. (I think Elliott called his creations "fork art", but I think there might have been some spoons or knives involved in some of his creations; never have high-school cafeteria utensils been used for a loftier end). The rest of my memories are a blur, and I think this might be a blessing. My general memory is that I was too reserved and rational back then, not to mention cynical and unappreciative of all that was done for me by my teachers and you, my peers. I suppose that I was coping the best I could, but I should say now that I appreciate the efforts some of you made to aid in my socialization, even if the results were less than promising in high school. I wish you all the best.


Kevin